Janet Schlarbaum Self Development by Kenneth Stephen Akpolo.

To understand what I am, I must also be clear about what I want to become. Goal setting is absolutely necessary. I must know the target I am shooting. As the great philosopher Spinoza says, “To be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end to life.”To understand what I am, I must also be clear about what I want to become. Goal setting is absolutely necessary. I must know the target I am shooting. As the great philosopher Spinoza says, “To be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end to life.”

It is also important to ask ourselves: why am I here? Why am I doing this? What is my purpose or aim? What cause moves me to act this way? Why should I work and suffer, dusty, silent, and heavy-eyed? What makes me undergo all this struggle and pain?

He who has a why to live can manage any how. He who has a reason to die has a reason to live, too. Life is precious. It is not meant to be wasted. It is worth living, and living meaningfully. That is why i should ask myself; what do I want out of life? What do I want to make of myself? What contribution do I want to make to the society? How do I want my people to remember me?

I want to reach the full stature of my personality. I want to grow in wisdom and in favour with God and people. I want my personality to bloom. I want my life to be fruitful. I want to be kind, generous and useful to the society. I want to develop my abilities and talents as best as I can. I want to be a genuine person, honest to myself and sincere in dealing with people, for I believe that the greatest ability is dependability.

What happens to me seldom depends on me. What I do depends on what I am. What others do to me is not in my control. How I respond to what they do to me depends on who I am.

There is this story of four men walking along a narrow path in a jungle. As they walked, the first one came across a deadly snake lying across his path. He saw the snake and was frightened. Fear gave him the strength, and he fled as fast as he could.

As the second man came up, he also saw the same snake lying on his path. He was so frightened that he was completely frozen. He could neither run nor cry for help. He could only stand there like a pillar, totally incapacitated and lost.

The third man, he saw the man standing and the snake on his path. He cut a small branch from a tree and with it killed the snake. Then he walked away with the other man.

Finally, the fourth man, at the sight of the snake he was so frightened that all he could do was to stand there and scream for help. This he did till he noticed that the snake was dead and gathering flies. He took a large curve about the snake and walked away.

We see that the four different reactions to the same snake did not depend on the snake but on the four different persons. What they did depend on what they were. As Gandhiji says, “The outward behavior of a man is at once the sign and proof of the inner state.”

If someone hits me that do not show that I am bad; that only shows something of the quality of the man who hit me. I can hit him back; I can ignore the hit I receive; I can forgive the one who hit me; or I can be friendly and helpful to him. My response will depend on what kind of person I am.

I am not only what I want to become. Every thought of mine, every word, every deed and every desire of mine leaves its autograph on me and shapes myself. I am the sum total of God’s gift to me and my own doing with myself.

If I want to reach a definite place, it logically follows that I must take all the steps necessary to reach there. I should do nothing and take no step which will take me away from my goal.

The Art of Being Fully Present from Janet Schlarbaum By Julie A. Fleming.

How often do you find yourself doing one activity and thinking about another? Perhaps you check email while you’re on the phone or talking to someone? Or you read the paper (or browse the web) while your partner or child is trying to tell you something?

It’s so common to do this, and when we do, we generally think we’re making good use of the time by multitasking. And yet, most of us have also had the experience of getting “busted”:the person who’s talking realizes we aren’t listening, or we make an error because we’re juggling two (or more) tasks simultaneously. At a minimum, our stress level goes up because the brain isn’t wired for multitasking.

Instead, try being fully present with what you’re doing. If you’re in conversation, close your email and put your phone on “do not disturb” so you can direct all of your attention to the discussion. Conversations tend to go more quickly when you’re fully present because you’re at full attention, and you’ll notice that you catch not only what’s said, but also what is going unsaid that should perhaps be explored.

For instance, imagine that a colleague is briefing you on an expert witness deposition prep session and the words say all is well. If you are fully present to your colleague, you might notice tension in his face that you would miss if you were looking at papers or email while he’s talking. Seeing the tension, you’d have an opportunity to inquire and learn that although he can’t put his finger on the issue, something isn’t right about the testimony or the way the expert is presenting it. That’s valuable information that could go undetected. (Should your colleague raise the concern without being asked? Absolutely. However, many of us are uncomfortable bringing up a concern without any evidence to back it up, and so he might well not mention it.)

How to become fully present? I recommend a quick centering exercise, which can be as simple as taking 3 or 4 slow, deep breaths. Bring all of your attention to the present activity, and if you find your attention wandering, breathe deeply again and bring it back. This level of focus will allow you to be more effective and less stressed.